Mom Guilt Revisited

A few days ago one of my good friends was lamenting on Facebook that she deserved the bad mom of the year award.  I happen to know she is an amazing mom!  Yet we ALL have those days where as moms we just feel like we are doing an awful job.  I reread my mom guilt post from a couple months ago and chuckled a little bit.  I really had nothing to feel guilty about as my daughter was fine, but I DID feel guilty.  Extremely guilty and I think that is a GOOD thing!  Yep mom guilt is a good thing in my estimation.  Why?  Because it means you care!  What I posted to my friend is this: "Guilt is definitely part of being a mom! Look at it this way though - if you do not feel guilt over the stupid things (cause really they are stupid) then you are not a good mom. Part of being a good mom is wanting what is best for your kid(s), which is where the guilt comes from. If you didn't feel guilt then you aren't doing it right!"  As mothers we care so much for our children, we only want what is best for them.  When they are hurt, sad, sick, lonely, mad, or really anything other than happy it can trigger that guilt.  We want for our kids to be happy, so when they are not we often start questioning ourselves.  Is what we are doing as a parent the right thing?  Are we just screwing our kids up so badly they'll never recover?  I know that I often have those feelings of guilt.  I tend to beat myself up with it.  Yet when my friend was beating herself up I recognized that it is normal and good.  It often takes looking outside yourself and your own situation to realize something so simple and plain.  So next time I get the mom guilt, as it will happen I am sure sooner rather than later, I will do my best to remember that the guilt comes from caring and loving my kids so much that I only want the best for them and for them to be happy.

Visiting Teaching and Chocolate Chip Cookies

In my church the women's group (Relief Society) has a support system (Visiting Teaching) for each of the women.  Essentially two women are assigned 2-3 different women to visit on a monthly basis.  That way everyone has someone else that they can count on.  In our ward (congregation) I am the visiting teaching coordinator and as such they have me do a monthly visiting teaching message.  I have found that coming up with these messages is not the easiest thing to do.  So to help out others who may be in a similiar position I have decided to post my messages here. 

Visiting Teaching and Chocolate Chip Cookies

Today we are going to talk about how Visiting Teaching is like chocolate chip cookies.  A chocolate chip cookie consists of a huge mass of dough sprinkled sporadically with absolutely yummy chocolate chips.  The dough represents the foundation of the cookie, the spiritual message and ministering.  The chocolate chips represent the joyous moments that raise Visiting Teaching to more than just messaging and make it about caring.

A lot of time our judgement on the "deliciousness" of the cookie itself is limited by our own perspective.  A lot of chocolate chips may be present, but we can allow the flavor of the dough to overwhelm the chocolate chips!  In other words, we often become so focused on whether we have sat and presented the message that we forget about the caring we have done.  The dough itself is delicious and filling, but the chocolate chips are what bring it all together.

What are the chocolate chip moments?  I asked some of my friends and these are some of their chocolate chip moments:

• Friendships made.
• Smiles and Hugs
• Meals brought in times of need.
• Someone to listen to you.
• Having someone there for you through thick and thin, that you know you can call on in a pinch.
• Dropping off of a favorite drink or treat.
• Emails just to check in on you and see how you are doing.
• Coming over just to chat.
• Going out for a Girl's Night Out, having lunch or dinner together, even getting a pedicure together.
• Truly being loved.

On the church website it says "a Visiting Teacher ministers by helping sisers know they are loved, help in them grow, and serving them in times of need."  We can't do that without the caring!  When doing your Visiting Teaching, don't forget the chocolate chips!


(If you use something like this for a talk or a V.T. moment in church, I highly suggest taking in a basket of chocolate chip cookies.)

Choir

Tonight Angel had her first choir concert.  The 3rd and 4th graders did Disney songs and they did a great job!  I really enjoyed watching my little girls standing up there and singing her heart out.  She had a smile on her face and brought one to mine.  Picasso cannot wait until next year when he can take choir also.  I was slightly irked at Archer as he quit choir just two weeks ago and missed his final concert.  He had missed a few weeks due to concussion and other obligations, so he just didn't feel confident in knowing the songs.  I am sad that he missed what would have been his final choir concert. I am looking forward to seeing my other kids sing in the choir this fall.  I will not see Archer sing in the school choir again, but I know that we will be able to watch him pursue other things.  I love being a mom!

Mother's Day

I know it is a couple days past Mother's Day, but I was busy with being a mom on that day.  :)  Today I want to talk about MY mom. 

My mom is hands down the most amazing woman I know.  She is everything I want to be and more.  I do aspire to be like her, though I feel that I am lacking in so many ways.  Good thing there is still time for growth! 

My mom has been there for me since before I as born.  She carried me for 9 months while I made her horribly ill.  From the moment I took my first breath she has been there to hold me, to love me, to care for me.  I know that no matter what is happening in my life that my mom will always be there for me.

My mom taught me to love.  Love is described not only as an emotion strong personal attachment and affection, but as a virtue representing human kindness, compassion, and affection.  That is what my mom taught me.  Not just that she has affection for me and wants me around, but to show kindness, compassion, and affection to all those around us.  I had it pointed out to me recently that I am odd in that I don't look at the color of a persons skin, at what habits they have, how they dress, or how they speak in deciding whether to be their friend.  I look at who they are on the inside first and the rest second.  I never realized that that wasn't how it was done as a rule.  It is how it should be done, but too often is not.  My mom showed kindness and compassion to all, not just those that looked like her, that talked like her, that had her same standards.  What mattered is that they were a person and as such deserved to be loved.  She went out of her way to care for others.

My mom taught me how important I am as a person.  She did this not only through love, but by always being there for me.  She attended my school programs, my parent teacher conferences, she helped me with my homework, she attended all my sports games, my marching band competitions, my colorguard competitions.  It is possible that she did miss a few of my competitions, but that is not what I remember.  What I do remember is that my mom was always there to support me, to cheer me on, to lift me up when needed.  She did not do it because she had to, but because it was important to her.  I was important to her.

My mom taught me to pray.  To have a close relationship with my Heavenly Father.  She taught me this through example.  My mom would, and still does, turn to the Lord for everything.  She has taught me to do the same.  The comfort that comes from this relationship is invaluable.  It is priceless. 

My mom taught me to love music and art.  I joke with people that my family is like the Von Trapp family from The Sound of Music.  We all sing, at least a little, we all play a couple instruments, and in addition we all enjoy drawing.  Music and art run in our family, but it was greatly encouraged in the home. 

My mom taught me to cook.  I may not be a world class chef, but I can definitely cook.  I still enjoying cooking and baking with my mom.  Her lasagna is my favorite thing ever!

My mom taught me to love animals, to love reading, to love nature, to love family history work, to love my family.  My mom taught me many more things, so many that I would be writing for days to express them.  At the end of the day I am who I am because of the things my parents taught me, the things my mom taught me.  What little girl doesn't want to grow up to be like her mother?  I still want to grow up to be like my mother.  She is by no means perfect, but she is amazing.  She is MY mom.

These words describe my mom perfectly......

   I love you mom!