Just Say No

No is a word I need to add to my vocabulary.  I know the word, I have used it, but I don't utelize it often enough.  I don't feel like I am a major people pleaser, but I think that in real life I actually might be.  I can't seem to tell people no!  Honestly I am getting so overwhelmed with everything that I have going on right now.  I can feel myself slipping towards depression.  I don't want to let anyone down, yet I don't feel like I can do it all either.  I have so many things that I need to get done right now - for my family, my church, the kids school - and I am afraid I'm not going to be able to get them done.  I know that I can; I have the capability.  I just feel like my plate is overflowing and there is nothing to stop the flow. 

The first step might just be to learn to say no.  No I can't do anything more.  If I do though I tend to start feeling guilty, I'm capable of helping and so I should.  Right?  I'm beginning to think that attitude is incorrect.  Not if that leads to my being so overwhelmed that I just want to shut down.  So here I sit, late at night, with things that need to be done NOW and I just can't do them.  Part of it might be a lingering effect from the concussion I got a couple weeks ago.  My head still really hurts and I'm having trouble focusing.  That really doesn't help anything at all.  Then there is that pesky thing called depression.  Ever since my 5th miscarriage I've suffered from depression off and on.  It was really bad for almost 2 years.  The past year or so I've really been able to overcome it for the most part.  It just tends to sneak in every now and then.

So what to do.... 

• First step is I need to sit down and make a list.  Partially because I really like lists, but partially because I really am having trouble keeping track of things at the moment and I don't want to forget anything. 
• Second step is to prioritize. 
• Third step is to stop being so indicisive about everything.  Stop laughing, I really can make up my mind about stuff...sometimes.  Okay, usually as long as it's not where to go out to eat, what to eat, what movie to go see.....ummmm yeah.  
• Fourth, I need to start up my workout routine again.  I worry about that though with my head still being off.  Is it even safe?  I'll have to look into that.  I know that it would help me feel better about myself. 
• Fifth step is to work on saying no more often.  In a kind, loving way of course.  Sheesh, I'm such a people pleaser!  lol  That's not a bad thing though right? 

So until I learn to say no I will continue to strive to do my best, to meet my obligations, and to keep my spirits in check.  Thankfully I have an amazing husband, four fantastic children, and some pretty fabulous friends that help keep me on an even keel.