The Important Things

I played softball this morning with some fabulous ladies and young women from church.  I've got bad knees (knee caps don't like to stay in place) and knew I shouldn't.  They needed an extra player though.  I did have a good time.  I've always enjoyed playing softball.  It left me in a lot of pain and walking with a limp.

Tonight I was supposed to take my boys to a MLS soccer game.  It was one of those moments of what is more important.  Taking my boys to the game or staying home and icing my knee?  At the end of the day, spending time with my boys is infinitely more important.  Yes my knee is killing me.  All the extra walking in the stadium, going up and down the stairs probably didn't help much.  However my boys are more than worth the pain.  I love spending time with my kids, all four of them.  Tonight though was about my boys.  We had a fabulous time.  We went to dinner, watched the game, talked, laughed, fanned each other, and sang songs at the tops of our lungs.  I love those two crazy boys.  They are growing up way too fast for me, but they are amazing!

Memories and Weddings

Today is the 15th anniversary of my first wedding.  I was young, in love, and looking forward to the future.  If I had known what that marriage would bring me I would have run and run far.  Instead I was over the moon in love.  Looking back it is so easy to see all the little signs that maybe something was off, not quite right.  Hindsight is definitely 20/20!  I don't regret that marriage.  I want to be able to say that I do, but I really don't regret it.  I would like to believe that I came out of it stronger.  That I am a better, more understanding and compassionate person. 

Abuse is something nobody should have to go through.  It's something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.  The abuse is something that is with me to this day.  For the most part I have recovered from it, it took years and lots of loving care.  I don't know if those scars will ever completely heal.  Random things can cause the scabs to peel back, but they are never completely ripped off. 

Fifteen years ago I was in love with a kind, caring, loving, handsome man who I was marrying.  He didn't end up being who he'd portrayed himself to be, but at that time he was amazing.